“The Hell Conspiracy” - Laurie Ditto AlongTheWay 83

Laurie Ditto’s supernatural experiences in Heaven and Hell have radically affected her life and her passion to share the Gospel of Jesus where ever she can. The trauma she endured from her time in hell has compelled her to try to rescue as many people from the fiery pit as possible.

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myfathersreputation.com

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816-299-2617

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Transcript

Laurie Ditto: 0:00

When I went to how I knew three things I knew I was inhale eternally for unforgiveness, the front of the room opened up, I felt the heat and my hand came out. It grabbed ahold of me, it was the strongest Dart or suction that I've ever felt you could not break that Hold on, I tried to throw my body back onto the ground, because whatever this was, it was supernaturally freaking me out.

John Matarazzo: 0:26

Welcome to along the way. I'm john matter as your host and fellow traveler, thank you for joining me along my way as I try to become more like Jesus every day. My guest for this episode is Laurie dito. She is the author of the book The hell conspiracy. And in this conversation, she shares about her supernatural experiences in heaven. And hell, the trauma she endured from her time into Hell has compelled her to try to rescue as many people from the fiery pits as possible. She was a guest on my TV show a while back, and I was amazed by her experience. So I wanted her to share her story on along the way as well. If you want to know how unforgiveness is a way bigger issue than we realize, then you are really going to enjoy my conversation with Laurie. I'll get to that in just a moment. But as always, I want to thank you for listening to along the way. I hope that you like what you hear and that you subscribe, you can connect with me online as well. All of my socials and contact links are in the show notes. And you can check out all of my episodes at my website along the way dot media. join my email list to stay in touch with me and I would love to hear from you. I also have a Patreon page if you want to help me to continue to put out these along the way episodes. If you'd like to become a Patreon, simply go to patreon.com slash along the way and select a level. The link to become a Patreon supporter is also in my show notes. And now here's my along the way conversation with Laurie ditto. Well, Laurie, ditto, it's great to have you along the way on this podcast, you and I connected originally when you were a guest on the real life program with your book, The hell conspiracy, an eyewitness account of hell, heaven and the afterlife. And I don't think I'll ever forget Laurie the opportunity that we had to sit down on the corner of the studio and you and I just have a chance to talk offset, I have had the opportunity to actually talk to a number of people that have shared experiences of the afterlife, Heaven and Hell and things like that, I think you're probably the first person that has had an experience of hell that we've talked about on the show. But I want to say something that I noticed about your eyes, as you were talking about about your experience. And that has stuck with me because when I look in your eyes, Laurie, I see somebody that really knows what they know, you had an experience that is true, there was no deceit in your eyes. And I just want to say that to everybody that's listening to you that you might be thinking, I don't believe any of these after life experiences. They're just kind of crazy. They're out there. But God does do some things that we we don't quite, we don't quite understand why. And experiences that we're allowed to have. We don't understand quite why. But I want to say that that what Laurie has to share in this episode, I've truly believed her. And I looked at her eyes. And she has told me that the sum of these stories. And I just want to say that Laurie, I want to hear your story of how God has brought you along your way, we will get to the place where you can share your experience. But I want to hear more about your life leading up to that as well. So thank you. I know that was a longer introduction than normal. But Laurie, thank you so much for allowing me to join you along your way.

Laurie Ditto: 3:42

Thank you. Thank you, john, I just want to say that, you know, when I met you, I was I was drawn to you the way that a sister is a brother, or, and, or or the way that a bit a mom thinks about taking care of somebody so precious. And I feel that about you, I feel that near you. You have that chip in the truth chip, like whatever it is, just give me the truth. So you know, you don't have to dress it up or try and make it palatable, just give you the truth. And I think that's something I really appreciate about you. Thank you for having me.

John Matarazzo: 4:19

Absolutely. Laurie, I want to hear about your story. How did you come to the Lord? How did you grow up? Tell me about your relationship with Jesus.

Laurie Ditto: 4:27

Well, I am. So my mom has a Catholic background. My dad has a Baptist background and the two are a little different from each other. And so, yeah, you know, so my I went to two churches while I was growing up and trying to understand the differences as a kid was was quite confusing. What I knew that I liked in either church was that you could feel God in both of the churches and As a Catholic girl, I loved the Stations of the Cross. I love the the understanding of the Stations of the Cross, and it taught me a lot about God. But it was confusing to me because, you know, one of the things at that impressionable age when we were young, and what they said was that it pleases God to crush his son. That that was a very, that's, that's very confusing. Why would God Why did it please Him. And they had taught us that God does not use the word proud. Pride is something that we need to try and stay away from instead uses the word pleased. So it made God really happy to crush your son. And so even though I was always drawn to the Lord, I wanted to be, I wanted to be at church, whether it was either of the church buildings, I had a love inside of the Baptist Church for the Word of God. And I was on a journey, but I had not arrived yet. And, you know, one bad thing after another bad thing happened, and you start carrying around a lot of garbage. And of course, the devil wants you to believe that God is against you, if he's even real. So a life of pain and yuck, became mine. And, you know, everyone has a lot of hurtful things in their life. And, and I had a stack of them. I got married in 83. And so within, by the time our oldest daughter, she was born in 84, by the time our oldest daughter was in third or fourth grade, I had too much pain in my life, and I was considering suicide, I probably would have went through with suicide, except the demons that were speaking to me, I thought, I thought that was very common, because as a child, I could sense God, I thought that I could hear him as a child, you know, and I could hear demonic. So the demons telling me that I was breathing valuable air for someone else, it made sense that they wanted these demons for me to take my life and to take my children's lives. And love is a very powerful thing. You know, it was like, No, they are so precious. So

John Matarazzo: 7:24

I do have a question for you, you said that you were in pain. What does that pain sound like? What type of pain was that,

Laurie Ditto: 7:31

um, depression, pain. And, you know, when we have yucky things and, and bad and wrong things that happen inside of our life, and there's no one to talk to about it. No one to, you know, it's like, just get over it. There's some things that happen to people, you just can't get over. And it becomes a cycle. We don't know how to break that cycle. And you start being worthless. Why did this happen to me, and the only reason you can come up with is because you're worthless. So it's, it's that type of pain. It's isolating, you're all alone into a pit of depression, and its intent is to kill you, the devil has come to steal, kill and destroy. And so, you know, that's what he was doing to me. Unfortunately, he still does that to a lot of people. But I was brave enough to tell one person. And the person that I told said to me, Well, you know, what you need, you need Jesus. And that just sounded so corny, to me. Right and wrong. You know, I mean, this lady was acting like Jesus was real, like, he was her best friend. And that was upsetting. And I told her that and she said, He is alive. He's alive. So it put me on a journey to look for Jesus. How would you find them? You know, so she said, she encounters them in the Word of God. That's when she had given you different books to read. And then she gave me a book by Frank peretti. about this, I think it was called this present darkness. And I mean, that was my introduction to Christian literature was Wow, Frank credit. That's

John Matarazzo: 9:09

an intense introduction.

Laurie Ditto: 9:10

I was like, Hey, this is real. Yeah, this is real this stuff. I mean, I could. And it was really good for me, because I knew that demons do this kind of stuff. I didn't realize there were twice as many angels, or demons. And I was like, wow, I gotta read into this. But I was shocked that they said that it was a pretend, you know, I'm like, No, the person that wrote this book understands me. So that was my introduction. So she handed me another book. And it did not say the Holy Bible on the front. I can't remember what it said on the front. I had I think it said Vox dei on the front, and I didn't know what that meant. And I opened up the book just to wherever which I like to do with books. If I open up to a page and read that page in that page is a good page, then, you know, I might consider reading this whole book. And I had no idea was Bible. So I opened it up and I opened it to Matthew seven, seven and you know Matthew seven seven is a it is a life scripture for me. And it was for sure my life scripture before I went to heaven and earth went to hell and what it says, you know, asking it will be given Sheikh, and you'll find knock in the door will be open for you. And I was like what in the world is this? And so I read some more. And when I realized I was reading the Bible, I was very upset with her. I called her up and I was like, Hey, you get, I thought you're giving me a good book, you know, like Frank ready? And I was like, I thought, you're giving me a great book, he gave me the Bible. Why don't you give me the Bible? And she was like, Well, have you ever read the Bible? And I was like, no. And she's like, why don't you read it is a really great book, you know, if you really if you like, claim Brody's book, you're really gonna like this book. And so no. And then it's sent me on a journey. I actually I went on a, I went on an adventure looking for God, I, I went to the International House of Prayer. I was living in Michigan at the time, I went to International House of Prayer. And I had a vision. And in that first vision, I went to heaven, and I met Jesus. And I knew him because he was the man when I was a child who would come to me to help me and direct me. And once I was in a, I was in a house fire as a child. And I knew Jesus, he had come to me. And I was going to run in this man came and wanted me to wait in the firemen came to get me our house and got on fire. Now, I don't know if I would have run in hid if the firemen would have found me. But where I was, I was where I needed to be. So I knew this knew Jesus when I got to heaven. And he's so amazing. And I was not. And he knew that I wasn't so amazing, but he loved me. And when I met Jesus, it was so easy to understand that if I could agree with his plan for my life, that it would amount to something. So I said yes to this plan. I didn't understand it, john. But I said yes to that plan.

John Matarazzo: 12:12

So you grew up in the church, you had a concept of religion, but relationship with Jesus was far from you. And yes,

Laurie Ditto: 12:22

yes. You know, my, my parents meant meant, well, we would start, you know, when school starts, they saw the Catechism classes would start. And we would make it to about we'd start in like, August, September, August, and we would make it to November and then we were out. It was like, it was difficult for my parents to go to church. So because they didn't go, we didn't go through that sort of thing. So I, I knew a little bit about God. And I knew that he was that, you know, you better be good, or else,

John Matarazzo: 12:58

right? Yeah. So you read this present darkness, and then the Bible, and then you had you went to the International House of Prayer. I mean, you're taking big steps at that point, and then go to the International House of Prayer. I haven't had the privilege of going there yet. But I have heard amazing, amazing things about what God has done through that ministry. So tell me more about about what that has meant to you.

Laurie Ditto: 13:22

Oh, it changed my life meeting Jesus. You know, I don't know. I mean, once you meet him and know that he's alive, and he's for you, and you can trust him once he has your heart of trust. And you'll do everything his way. And he had that right. Then we had that. When I came out of that vision, I was changed. He had delivered me I used to smoke three and a half packs of cigarettes a day. It was I used to smoke in the shower. It was you know, I couldn't take a shower without needing the nicotine. And so you know, people are like, how do you do that? I was really good at it.

Unknown: 14:09

Wow,

Laurie Ditto: 14:10

yeah. So he set me free from the need for nicotine. And he changed my personality. Because, you know, I'm really special. And I'm very important, and no one can take my place. And I really felt when I came back, john, that I was his absolute favorite person in the whole wide world. That frustrated a lot of people. So here's this, here's this girl, now I'm going to this different church, and I'm explaining to people there. You need to know Jesus and and people were like, Oh, yes, yes, we know him. And I was like, What does he look like? What does he smell like? What does he sound like? And then I don't think you know him. Yeah, I don't think you know him. And they're like, you know, Laurie, there's other ways to know Jesus. And I was like, Well, how do you know him? And they're like, Tom, the Word of God. And I was like, Yeah, I read that too. But you know, seeing him Much better. And if you haven't seen him, I don't think you know, because and I was totally wrong back then. But I really didn't have a grid. I knew was that if you knew who Jesus was and what he's like, of course, of course, you'd leave everything to follow him because no one loves us like Jesus.

John Matarazzo: 15:18

Yeah, yeah. So tell me what Jesus was like that first. Don't leave me Hey, Laurie,

Laurie Ditto: 15:27

is always so amazing. So Jesus is very bright, I saw him he is a source of what we know of his light. And so he wanted me to see him for who he is. And the only thing that I can explain it as as as a dimmer switch, he turned himself up until he was so brilliantly bright, I had to shut my eyes, I now because I've been to heaven, multiple times, I now know that you can only be hold Jesus to the level of your obedience. So I don't think it was very, very bright. Because even for me, it was very bright. But my obedience to Christ was not not I hadn't achieved anything yet. And so he turned himself back down so that I could see him. And I remember seeing these, the wounds on his hands. And it was not where I was taught as a Christian kid, or as a Catholic kid, because they always showed the nails in the palm of his hand, but the man that I met had these wounds here on the wrist part of his hand, and I remember looking at those wounds that are still there, they're still so very obvious. And it seems so wrong for such a wound to be on a perfect man. When I thought that he didn't stop me, you know, he didn't say your theology is all wrong. Get out of here, he was so interested in my heart, I know, he has eyes have fire. And so like, the black part of his eye is black. And the white part of his eye is white. But the colored part of his eye is to fire, and it dances and it moves. And when you start looking at his eyes, it's like watching a campfire, better than a campfire. And you know how you can just kind of get lost in the fire. And until a lug moves or something time just seems to disappear. And that's what it's like, yeah, you look in his eyes, and His eyes are so filled with hope and love and strength. And through the power of his eyes, he welcomes you and you know, by just looking at him that you belong. And that was something that was really important to me to know that I belong. And I think the largest attribute of God, and that visit that I saw from him was his patience. And that's not something I I was familiar with people having so much patience. But Jesus does. And he has so much patience for us and understanding. And even though you're totally wrong, he knows why you're totally wrong. And he's willing to help you build a bridge from being wrong into stepping into righteousness. And it was amazing to be there. So he's strong. He's very strong.

John Matarazzo: 18:07

You just mentioned that basically, it's okay to be wrong, and he will help you. He knows why you're wrong. What was that experience for you?

Laurie Ditto: 18:14

Oh, I mean, the majority of my life was wrong, not not just the idea about the wound, right, right. But, you know, not loving yourself, not seeing value in yourself. Not knowing who he is, or thinking that he's not gonna like me, he doesn't want me around. I mean, you're just at that point, I'm not saved. So there's really nothing about me. That was right. He is right, right. So everything about him is righteous. So he's not worried that you have these parts in you that are wrong, so long as you are willing, and you're teachable. And even if you're not, right, doesn't the scripture say that he loves us even when we're his enemies? He does. So, you know, he wanted me to give him something I understood. He wanted me to give him pain and suffering. And I couldn't. I mean, I just couldn't fathom how to give over anything like that to Jesus. So the only thing that came to my mind was cigarette smoking, okay, you know, that's painful. And so, he wanted, he's eating and he's like, okay, I'll take that. Give me that. And he was looking for, you know, like a connection and he's so good at meeting you where you are. So I was like, I can't I can't give you that. No, no, no. And I put my head down thinking while he's gone, he's going to beat me. You know, he's gonna come up with this ugly sticker or something, he's gonna beat me. And nothing happened. And when I looked up, I saw his eyes and a smile on his face and you got his smiling and he took a step closer and when God moved one step closer, everything that is, is where it is because he places it there in the distance that he moved in that one step was as if he moved from the moon into my space right here. That's how far he moved in one step. Even though it didn't seem that far, everything changed. And everything readjusted, because Jesus moved. And as he came closer to me, you know, something that I really enjoyed was when he got real, real close, I enjoyed breathing in what he breathes out. Okay, and, you know, he would, I've learned a trick to see how people are doing, which is a great evangelist ik trick, I match my breathing to yours to figure out, how are you doing? So I do that when I'm nervous? And how is that person doing? And so Jesus is breathing, and he's so relaxed when he breathes. And he was breathing. And just because I'm mimicking his breath, I become very, very relaxed in it. And I realized I don't want to breathe with him, be I want to breathe against him, because whatever he was breathing out, made me feel so much better. You know, it wasn't like, Okay, he's breathing out carbon dioxide, what he was breathing out was life for me. And so he'd breathe out. And at that time that he would, he would exhale, I would inhale, and just the breath from God was so stabilizing. Anyway, he, he wanted me to look into a room that was filled with presence. It was, it was, I felt it was about the size of a basketball court, and you could not fit one more present in that room. It was all for me. All these gifts were for me. And I knew that there were gifts in there for every day of my life, to and three gifts for every day of my life. And I was behind, because he had all these gifts for me that I hadn't opened on those days. And many of those gifts I could still have if I was willing to open them. And I was so excited looking at all those presents, because they were all wrapped like, you know, this one was wrapped in pink, and that one was wrapped in green, and they had beautiful bows. And I mean, I've never seen wrapping paper like this. And he told me that some of those gifts were things he would give me and other gifts. Were not implying when I opened them, that they would be give some things he had to take away. Which I thought why would God wants to take anything away. But here I am fighting suicide and everything. I need God to take stuff away from me. So he wanted me to give him give him this pain. And I was like, No, I can't. You have all this lost reasoning, because you're not saved. You have this lost reasoning, and he understands it. He's not intimidated by lost people in the way that they think. So he showed me a movie. He became real clear and bright, like a man made out of diamonds. And I watched a movie inside of him and he was dancing with his bride. He was doing this unique little dance with her. And I watched his eyes. Look at her. She was not paying attention to how much Jesus loved her. She was just enjoying the dance. And when her eyes were on him, this darkness tried to come up and touch her. His eyes turned into this extreme protective fire that scared the darkness way back. The more that I watched I got sick inside. Because I want that. I want to dance with someone like that I want and then it was like, No, I want Jesus to dance with me. I want to be the girl that you love so much. And when I looked down at her ankles, I realized that this is me who I will be when I get there. I realized that was me. And once I realized that the girl is showing me He's so in love with his knee. Oh my goodness, john, once you realize you're it I mean, you know, there's a reason why I thought it was his absolute favorite. Because I watched how he looked at that girl and, and I know I'm she now he didn't tell me. him dancing with you are dancing with anybody out. So I came out of that vision saved. I'm trusting God, I know I am his favorite. And I turned my little world and all the people around me upside down.

John Matarazzo: 24:06

Okay, tell me how

Laurie Ditto: 24:06

so I was on a school board. I made the school board, okay, where you guys say you're Christians, you need to pray. Why don't you pray to Jesus? And what does he look like? What does he sound like? What does he want? Because Jesus wants something. What does he want? And people were like, We don't know what to do with you, my family. I was like, You don't know Jesus actually said to my husband, hey, if you don't give your life to Jesus, you're gonna go to help. You know, you should listen to me because I saw him in his favorite. And I was like, why did he pick you as his favorite? I said because that's how important I am. You know, I came back totally different. My children. were shocked because when I left being suicidal, like I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to make breakfast or lunch or dinner or doing the laundry or anything and I couldn't I couldn't do anything.

John Matarazzo: 24:54

So you were suicidal and everything while you were married and had a family. Yes. Like, how old were you? How old are your kids at this time? Because I was picturing this earlier in your life?

Laurie Ditto: 25:05

No, no, this was right before I got saved. So I got saved in 2000. This vision happened in 2000. And so we got married in 83. Our first daughter was born in 84. And I was suicidal in. So in 1999 is when the friend said to me, you know, Jesus, wow. So it was, you know, and then in 2000, here I am this different woman, and nobody knows what to do with me.

John Matarazzo: 25:31

Yeah, you got it. You got an infusion of your identity in Christ.

Laurie Ditto: 25:34

Oh, yeah. I mean, and our friends, it was so funny, because my husband is quite a social man. Yeah, he's a homebody, but he's a social man. And we had friends and things, and no one wanted to come over to our house. Because if they did, I would sit there, I would pull out my Bible. And I didn't know it very well. And so I was on this, this hunger thing, I would listen to Christian radio. Almost every minute that I was awake, I would listen to Christian radio. And I would turn around and I would preach the sermon that I just heard to my family, probably not very well, and all my friends. And, you know, I would stop people in the grocery store. And I believe the Bible, you know, so I was like, Oh, you have a hurt leg? well kept have faith. And and I thought you had to have a mustard seed. Yeah. So I used to, I used to carry around this little thing of, not mustard seeds, but mustard because I couldn't find a seed. I had no.

John Matarazzo: 26:31

Ketchup. Mustard packet.

Laurie Ditto: 26:33

Yeah, but it was a little mustard thing. Because I thought I knew they like mustard. You know, because I was I was absorbing everything so quickly. And, you know, they stuck me our church didn't know what to do with me. Because, you know, I'm telling the elders of my church. Are you sure you know, Jesus? You know, are you sure? How come you don't? Nobody looks like Why don't you know me sounds like head. They stuck me with these senior saints that really wanted to help me grow in Christ. And they, you know, they looked at my life and showed me where I was going. I was really blessed john, because not only did I see Jesus, but I had people who'd been rooted in the word for 40 plus years helping me understand that I needed change. You know, I was I was really, really blessed. And I discipled young women then I had 12 young women, they they went to college, and I discipled them through their four years, I would get after them. I had a strong prophetic gift when I left Jesus. And I knew things about people. I went and talked to the universities and things and the young women were just drawn to me, Campus Crusade and these type ministries. And so they asked me to come and be a speaker. I was at one of them in the Holy Spirit. I don't know maybe 40 women. And the Holy Spirit said that there are people here that they are, they're not right. You know, they're having sex outside of marriage, and you know, supposed to pray, bless the dinner, and everyone's gonna go have pizza. That's what we were gonna do. And that was my job. Just pray. Yeah. And I stood up there, I started crying. I was like, there are people here, you are sleeping around. And then I didn't the Lord just told me all these sins about what all these women were in, I said, Do you think you get you should leave and go have pizza, when you don't even know Jesus Christ, you have to give your life to Christ. You know, and I was like, there are four of you in this room. You've never committed your life to Christ. I didn't go anywhere. I turned around, I got on my knees, looking at the cross at the front of the church. And I turned around to see the altar was filled with women. And they waited to come up and pray with me and confess, confess their sin. And it was really quite remarkable that God had given me so many gifts. Yeah. And I'm, I'm eternally grateful. So they weren't, but the one young woman who got in line, the one who had invited me, I said, What do you need to confess? She goes, I don't need to, I don't think I need to confess anything she's like, but um, would you like some water? So she stood in this line to find out anyone wanted to drink? No, no. But that's what it was really, really remarkable. Yeah. It's so much fun to even think of that. I hadn't thought of that in a long time.

John Matarazzo: 29:14

Yeah. So I'm sure that that pizza was very cold by the time that they actually ate it.

Laurie Ditto: 29:19

Yeah, yeah. But you know, we need to we need to put God first. I need to find out what does he want? That needs to be our prayer. So I mean, I missed I missed my family. I messed I messed with them. And Mike was so concerned about me. He said, I think you misunderstood those people down at the International House prayer, I'm gonna take you back there. Because you misunderstood them, you should not be this radical. And then he came to the house of prayer and he had a spiritual encounter where he got saved. So you know, that was really great, because now it was two of us against, get for our kids and then so why am I have the fondest of place in hard for the International House prayer ministries.

John Matarazzo: 30:02

Yeah. So you said that that was the first time that you went to heaven? Yes. If you're saying that that was the first time, then there's more than one, right?

Laurie Ditto: 30:12

And yes, I have been extremely blessed. I've been to heaven. So many times, I actually, I'm writing a book, a working title, called the heaven conspiracy, the partner to the hell conspiracy. But, yes, I've seen many wonderful things in heaven, and Hallelujah, you know, everybody needs to go there. And it's no big deal. And I say that because of this. It's not that I'm special. Because I've been to heaven. It's not that I'm special that I've been to hell, but I am responsible, right? So I am responsible. So if I'm going to tell you about heaven, but I don't give you the lesson that the Lord's sent me there to bring back, then how can we make the Lord's Prayer work, Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. But if we don't know what's happening in the kingdom, so when you realize you got it all off, you're so far off track? Once you realize No, this is how the kingdom operates, and you can live that way, then you can realize how special you are. And you can just walk around with all these gifts from God. Hallelujah.

John Matarazzo: 31:15

Yeah, absolutely. You just mentioned that you know, the part of the Lord's Prayer, Thy kingdom come, thy will be done. I find it interesting in your story that you had this first experience with Jesus and your church, actually, they helped you have a biblical understanding of what happened, right? Because we need to have both of those things. Yes. You know, whenever that whenever we have an experience with the Lord, whether it's spiritual, whether it's an out of body experience, you know, it should match up with what the Bible says, you know, that's one of the ways that we know that, hey, this wasn't just a crazy dream that this person had or that Laurie had, you know, if it matches up with what the Bible is saying, that confirms the experience that God has allowed us to have. And I'm praying that I get to have an experience like that, before I get to actually go to heaven.

Laurie Ditto: 32:05

I pray that for you, too.

John Matarazzo: 32:07

I would love for that. I appreciate you praying for that as well. But, Laurie, you've been to heaven, multiple times, what was happening with your physical body during that time? Did it disappear? Do you have any understanding of that? Because that's something I've always I've always wondered about,

Laurie Ditto: 32:23

right. So you know, I left I came back, no one was spoofed or upset or shocked. So I even though I left, I don't think my body here with me. Because if I'd seen somebody disappear and reappear, I mean, I'd be a little freaked out. I'd be a little loud. Yeah, yeah, I'd be stressed. So even though it all happened, and when I came back, I'm looking around. And that's very common. And looking around, Oh, my gosh, oh, my God, nobody else knows that I've left or that I've come back. But I think you can look at people. And it's sort of like, you know, you're worshipping God. And you're, you're on the end of the aisle and you're worshiping God, and you're, you're someplace. You're not there. You're someplace and then somebody needs to get past you and happy on the shoulder, and then you kind of got to come out of this place where you were, I think it's like that. I think, God, it's that close. I think the reality of God is that close as if, and we can touch that very real. It's very real when we worship. Yeah.

John Matarazzo: 33:31

So Laurie, I do want to talk about the hell conspiracy, because that's what you came on to real life to talk about. And we want to hear good things about, you know, life after death experiences. But I have heard just a couple people, and you're one of the few that have had an experience of hell. And I want to hear your your experience about that. Because Hell is not something that people want to talk about, right? It's not something. I mean, a lot of people don't even teach about it, people don't like to talk about it. You know, the, I forget who was it that said that, you know, the the devil's greatest accomplishment is to get people to believe that he doesn't exist. And along with that, that hell doesn't exist either. But we know, right? That hell was created for the devil and his demons. And it is a real place, you can read about it in the Bible. And it is something that we need to have some understanding about, because that is not a place that we want ourselves to go. But we we don't want anybody to go because if anybody goes there that grieves the heart of God. And for us as Christians, we want to be able to help people to not go there. And so they can experience the abundant life that God has for us. But Laurie, our understanding of Hell is so limited. Sometimes we just think about it as this hot cave and the bottom and the bottom of a volcano somewhere. But tell me from your experience, what God showed you in that and also why did God show that to you?

Laurie Ditto: 34:54

Alright, so it took me a long time to write That book. Yeah. And the reason why I wrote is because there's so many aspects of, of hell that we don't understand and there wouldn't be enough time for me to actually do it any justice. So I, it took me a long time I sat with the Holy Spirit. I have a dear friend that was in the room, she prayed for me most of the time that I was writing the book because it's overwhelming. Just trying to figure out words to say about how you know the Scriptures teach us that. Don't fear Him who can kill the body, rather to fear Him who can kill the body and cast your soul in hell. And that's talking about God the Father. Yeah, fear him. Having come back from how the scripture that the Lord gave me, is in Colossians, one, and it's 2829. And it says him we preach, wanting every man and teaching every man in all wisdom that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. And To this end, I also labor striving according to his working what's works in the mind, Lee, and for me, this scripture is real because of the reality of health. I when I went to how I knew three things, I knew I was inhale, eternally, for unforgiveness. I was at an evangelism meeting, the front of the room opened up. As it opened, I saw gates on the supernatural side. I felt the heat, that's probably the first thing I felt the heat and an arm came out of there, a hand came out, and it grabbed ahold of me in my chest area. It was the strongest Dart or suction that I've ever felt you could not break that. Break that hold, and I tried to throw my body back onto the ground, because whatever this was, it was supernaturally freaking me out, you know, I went very quickly past all people, they continued praising God. And I went past them and these doors shut. And when I got there, I was sentenced three things. You are in hell eternally for unforgiveness. And the courtroom of God was there. You know, I think I always thought, john, since I've been having a few times, I understand that courtroom a little better. You know, it's like in an elevator, if that makes any sense. The courtroom is actually an elevator, it can go up and down. And so you die. You don't actually get to go see that field glass and all that. It came right here and I was sentenced, you're in hell eternally for unforgiveness. And there's no backpedaling you're done. And if I had died in that vision, I would still be there. I experienced hell. And hunger, the length of it and, and the terribleness of it burning my skin dripping off. No, my eyes been burned, open my screaming my whole body screaming the twisting and contorting as if a belt is beating you never being able to get to another person. And that was just like to catch me up. This is what hell was like. And it quickly devastated me. Yeah, you have no you, you hate yourself. So what I felt being depressed was nothing compared to the hatred of how much you hate yourself. Because, you know, it's void of God. So you don't get to feel there's no good thing in hell, every part of it was extremely blah. He was so upsetting and wrong. And the prison I was in was a teardrop shaped prison. Okay, which I knew that is God who created that prison for me. And for anybody that's there, these tears, I think it was formed from his tear because no one has to be there. No one. Jesus has made a way for all people. But you know, don't you think the problem is that, that we only want Christianity our own way. We want the watered down version. We don't want the surrender version, right? The version that says, okay, God, what do you want? And that's what I'm going to do. Instead, we want that I'll take a little of this as if it's some sort of buffet. And forgiveness is a big deal. Because Jesus died on the cross to forgive us of our sin. And if we will not forgive, we will not be forgiven, and that's also in the Lord's Prayer. But while I was in Hell, I understood Matthew 18, much, much better than I'd ever understood before. Because you know, and I'll just paraphrase it, but in Matthew 18, you know, this servant owes so much money to the king, and a debt too big to be paid, and the king calls and forward, you know, Hey, you got to pay this money in the man's like, please be patient with what actual I Did some studying and according to the study that I've done, it's a whole lot of coins, but it's actually 2142 lifetimes of debt. So there is no way he can. He can pay it, it's 2142 lifetimes of debt and lifetime is considered 70 years. So the king forgives the debt, the man goes out, finds his brother who owes him three days wage. He can't forgive. So you know, you know, the story comes back in it's like, what was your problem? You know, didn't I forgive you everything, you can't forgive somebody a little thing. Then Jesus says something that's quite remarkable. He says, and so my Heavenly Father will do to you also, if you don't forgive your brothers from your heart. So how serious is that? Because same things gonna happen? Yeah. But what I realized when I was in hell is that the reason why is because when the debt was forgiven, it's not about the debt. It's actually about a heart transfer. This service should have had the heart of God, this compassion and mercy because everything had been forgiven. He took only the cancel debt, he didn't take the real gift of the king, a heart cancer, and I must not have either. So when I was in Hell, I realized I don't have the heart like God, no one had done to me. Anything that's worth not forgiving them. Because Jesus forgave me everything. Yeah. But by then it was too late. I tell in the book, it was great detail, the worst pain in hell isn't any of the terrible things that I experienced, as far as getting used to hell. The worst pain of all was when God sentence me, and then he took his garment, and he ripped it across this heart. And by the action, I understood, I'm dead to him. That was the most painful and then coming back, you know, that of all the things you know, so my eyes hurt. And I was I was extremely dehydrated, and suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and a whole bunch of issues. All those things physically hurt my body. But there was a hurt that was really deep inside. And that hurt was that God had ripped his clothes against the Is there any way back for me? Can I ever be allowed back in the presence of God? Having seen how having a having burns, you know, and how in the world am I going to get rid of all this unforgiveness?

John Matarazzo: 42:32

Yeah. So God, God pointed out the unforgiveness in your heart. Did you know what specific issues of unforgiveness they were that you needed to deal with?

Laurie Ditto: 42:40

Yeah, I mean, you know, but for the sake of everyone, we we've agreed to talk about one. And that one is the pain between my husband and I. So this is the unforgiveness that we've agreed to talk about, you know, we hurt each other. And we've done things to each other, we should not have done and said things and, and they piled up and piled up and you become very guarded. And it was not a good marriage. Not that we realized that. But any marriage that has that kind of stuff in it is bad. And I had heard Mike and he had hurt me. And we were moving along with this, this way of life that was filled with unforgiveness. And there's other people in your life that you can do that with to john, but yeah, the only one that I talked about is my husband. And when I came back, you know, he was very stressed. I was very stressed. And he was like, you know, God sent you to hell, so that you can help others not go there. I said, No, he didn't. He sent me to hell because I, I didn't forgive. And Mike was like, No, no, you're misunderstanding. I said, Look, and you're gonna go to hell, because I've hurt you, and you've hurt me. And we actually had to take time. Well, you know, we took the vacations, which were not really vacation at all. And we just went and sat and talked about all this pain and worked through because it's one thing to say to somebody, I forgive you if you never have to see them again.

John Matarazzo: 44:05

Right, right.

Laurie Ditto: 44:06

But what do you do when you have to forgive somebody that you live with? Now, that's all that's a whole cleansing. So it was it took a lot of time it actually took me from the day that I got back. I knew that I would be right with God when he spoke to me again. And I didn't think I was ever going to get right with God. I never I I was so stressed. But it took exactly 30 months. I knew to the day when the Lord spoke to me. And I knew then on the day that he spoke to me that I would be clean, that I was acceptable that I had torn down this mountain of unforgiveness. And what he said to me was, I sent you to hell because I love you. And I was undone. I knew that I was, I was finally see, as if, you know, I as I said, I have a great prophetic gift and I think God gives great gifts and So we want to give to prophecy. Want to hear God, we all want to go to heaven. And God is no respecter of person. So we should all ask him, take me Take me. But on the day that he spoke to me, I thought I was so much weaker than I was. When he said, I sent you to hell, because I love you, I realized I had been standing as a warrior, with a shield of faith and a sword hanging on to just little scriptures that would help me through I was never going to give up on God. And once he said, Because I love you, I knew that I had not created a sin. That was unforgivable. I just needed I just needed to do my part. And that's something that the, the like you said, the church doesn't always like to talk about hell. And I think why they don't like to talk about how it is because if you realized how serious Hell is, then you would have to take a very serious look at your life and the sin that's currently in your life. Right. And there's no coddling anything. We have to meticulously go after the sin in our life, and get rid of it. Because you know, for the kingdom to come, and the will of God to be done in our life. You can't have both bitter water and Sweetwater coming on one life. So make that choice and let Jesus do whatever it takes to turn you into a sweet water. And, you know, I'm committed to that for sure now, and I don't mince words about how, you know if you're in sin, you're going to go to hell, I'm not the person that created the lists that are in the Bible. Jesus created those lists. I was just talking to somebody earlier. In fact, today who was telling me Well, the only sin that will take you to hell is grieving the Holy Spirit. I said, No, honey, that's wrong. That's not the only sin that will take you to hell. Look in the Bible. You know, being a drunkard is selfish ambition will take you to hell. It's like, No, no, no, Laurie. And I said, You limited it all to one sin, so that you feel safe. Let's look at the whole context of the Bible. And find out what what lifestyles will take people to sin. So there's take people to help. You know, john, I mean, I spoke to people who they don't understand that all sexual immorality takes people to hell. So you can cheat on your wife, you can have sex outside of marriage, you can have sex, same sex, you know, all of these sexual immorality will take people to hell. And it's like, well, or you're being mean by saying there, you're picking on this group or that group? Nope. All right. Oh, and isn't it kindness that that we share the truth? Because if those people don't realize that soon, it's going to take them to hell. And we as believers, don't go and share with them, then what sin are we guilty of? Because it's true. The Lord holds us accountable for every word that we say. But I know having been to hell that God holds us accountable for all the things we didn't say to Yeah, that's kind of scary.

John Matarazzo: 48:12

Yeah, absolutely. It is scary. So Laurie, how long was that experience? And how did you get pulled out of that? Because from what you're saying, you knew that you were gonna be there forever, right? How did that forever not be actually forever? How did it you know, how did God intervene with that?

Laurie Ditto: 48:29

Right? I don't know how long. I couldn't have been gone more than 15 minutes. But I don't know if I was only gone 15 seconds. Because nobody knew when I left or when I came back. But everybody knew when I came back, right? I think I mean, I started screaming when the doors open, and I was being pulled through. And I was still screaming when I came back out. I don't know how I got out, but the love of God. And when I was screaming, I stopped the meeting. And not that I knew any of that was going on. Next thing I know, my boss was at the front of the room. And he came rushing to the back and he just started shaking. And he said, What is wrong with you? And I said, I'm burning in hell. I've just been to hell. And I heard a demon speak to me right away, saying, Don't tell anyone that you've been to hell. It was I didn't want anything supernatural around me. I love when the angels come and I can feel them. I love I love hearing the Holy Spirit. Speak and I love hearing the songs of heaven. When when heaven comes near. I love all that. But when I came back, I didn't want to hear anything. I don't want anything supernatural around me. And that's when I was pretty messed up. I couldn't stop screaming. I couldn't stop shaking. So that's when they called my husband and told him you know, you got to come and get her in it. It just put me on this journey. You know, I didn't sleep for six days after that happened. I couldn't eat. I couldn't. I mean, I was on a loop, I'm gonna go to hell, I'm gonna go to hell, I'm gonna go to hell, I'm gonna go to hell. And my daughter came over with our youngest with our, with our grandbaby, thinking, this would help me. And I saw my granddaughter come into the house, and I started yelling at my oldest daughter kicked her out of here. I knew how wicked I was, I didn't want that innocent baby, anywhere by my, by my very sinful life. And, I mean, it was just that took some explanation afterwards, right? As your daughter comes down, you and you're, you're yelling matter, by them. I mean, it was just so real. How was so so real, and you know, things your whole head is working there, your whole brain is working in how the same as an admin. And I knew when I was in hell, that there are more people in health and what are in heaven. And I knew that there are many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many people. Of course, there are people who are are in hell who never knew God, of course, right. But there are people in hell, who like me, said they loved God, who believes they were going to go to heaven, you know, who walked around with a title of Christian and in hell was a Christian. I sure believed it, john. I mean, the only sin I was really doing was carrying unforgiveness. You know, I tie I taught, I went out evangelizing. I spoke in tongues. I mean, you know, I was helping people, discipling people, you know, the only sin I was guilty, was on forgiveness. And there are people in hell like that. I mean, that their name is on the roster, church, they go to church every Sunday. And when you were there, you knew them. And we knew what they had done and why they were in hell and unforgiveness was was for many, many, many, many people in hell.

John Matarazzo: 51:59

Yeah. So I want to talk more about this unforgiveness thing, because we're recording this episode in the beginning of June. And right now, in our nation, there are riots going on. And I know that this is there's a demonic spirit that is that is causing chaos in this land. And a lot of it is stemmed of unforgiveness, or at least that's what that's what I believe is being is the fuel to the fire. You know, yes, things have been things that were wrong had been done to you. Things that were wrong have been done to me. But if we harbor unforgiveness, it's only going to breed resentment. It's going to cause everything on this earth to get worse. But it's also going to lead us straight to hell as well. Can you talk about this unforgiveness and how to God work that in your life, so that we can deal with unforgiveness in our lives as well?

Laurie Ditto: 52:58

Yes, yes. You know, I think a good word in the Bible because people get confused when they they go through the list. And they're like, Oh, hey, look, this list doesn't say unforgiveness. But it does say hatred. And hatred breeds unforgiveness. And unforgiveness breeds hatred. So it's a back and forth kind of thing. So you don't realize hatred is so subtle. And it comes in starts out with I don't like you, well, why don't I like you? You know, because I'm prideful, and whatever else, but you know, it just builds on itself. And so with everything that's going on right now, it's so sad. It's really showing us the state of our hearts. And racism is a hatred of another human being, for no reason, right? You have no reason to hate another human being. And how God first to know I think knowing that unforgiveness, and hatred is something somebody did to you. And people that you love, do things to you that you, you hate. So I mean, you want to take it all out on that guy over there that did something to you. But in reality, I mean, it's, it's a part of us. And the reality that God showed me, I went to hell because of unforgiveness. It's true. It helped me clean up my life. And then, and I was totally selfish. I didn't care about anybody else's life. I just cared about my own, I'm gonna go to hell unless I get this thing figured out. And I got it figured out by sitting down, taking inventory, letting the Holy Spirit show me all the hatred and unforgiveness that was in my life towards this long, long list of people and you know, you you're shocked by how long the list is when the Holy Spirit makes it for you. If I made the list, I put a few people in right. Like the Holy Spirit made this list and it just went on and I learned and then dealing with that list and so going to the people and trying To explain, look, I need help because I'm in sin. I don't know if you remember when you did this to me, I felt this way. And a lot of times it's a total misunderstanding, right? They didn't mean for anybody to feel that way. But I picked up a fence, I picked up hatred, and now I'm stuck in unforgiveness. And so you know, when people ask me, what I need to do, really, what you need to do is you need to take account of your life is filled with the Holy Spirit and let him let him pour out where you think you've been so wrong, that gives you a right. Because it's all about our rights. That's what we think, you know, you don't have any rights. If you're a Christian, you don't have any rights. You're owned by Jesus, and he determines what's best for us. And we just trust him. It's one of these, you know, if he could break the whole Bible down, I break it down into words, you just gotta trust and obey. And somebody told me, there's a hell about that. Yeah. I mean, that's a great Hill. Absolutely.

John Matarazzo: 55:57

I think that doing that inventory, and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to our hearts and go through and deal with those different things, is vital. Because if we don't do that, we let the enemy have a foothold in our lives. And that foothold enables him to drag us into the pit of hell.

Laurie Ditto: 56:16

It's so true and sad and so true. Yeah, you've said it. Exactly. Right.

John Matarazzo: 56:21

Yeah. And it's, it's, you know, that unforgiveness, it's like he's throwing another hook in you, and you just let it you let it stay there. When you let it stay there, it gets in deeper and it gets infected and it hurts, but it's sometimes it hurts to pull out. And actually, most of the time, it hurts to pull out to be completely honest. Absolutely. When you do that, though, that's when the healing can begin. And if you're listening to this, I want to encourage you to let that healing begin, let the Holy Spirit's speak to your heart, let him mess with your thinking. Let him rewire your brain, rewire your emotions so that he can deal with your heart so that this issue of unforgiveness in our in all of our lives, can be taken away. So that we can walk in a place of forgiveness, because we love because Christ first loved us, we forgive because he first forgave us. And if we can walk in that we can walk in freedom, and we can know, really, that we're not going to get pulled to hell. And we need to continue to do that. Anytime a new offense comes, we need to pull that hook out and get rid of it and deal with it. Well, it's a still a small issue as opposed to a big thing.

Laurie Ditto: 57:30

That's right. And, you know, the Scriptures say, john, that we need to walk out our salvation with fear and trembling. This is, you know, it's like, why would it say that if it was a once and done thing? It's not every day we need to take take inventory of what's happening. And are we being the rotten problem? You know, because, you know, people expect understanding when we when we are having a crappy day, right? But the reality is, is that, you know, like, I want grace I want. It's like, No, no, no, no, don't you think that those words are a little bit mixed up? Because Grace is what God gives us, to help us obey Him. Grace is what he gets us to get something done. But if you are in sin, you don't get mercy when you're in sin until you repent. Yeah. And if you're not going to repent, you don't get to walk in the mercy of God. You know, people are like, well, so what's repentance? And I think that's really important, because if the Christianity that you signed up for doesn't have repentance, and then it's not the Christianity of the Bible,

John Matarazzo: 58:39

it's an off brand of Christianity.

Laurie Ditto: 58:42

Amen. Amen. You know, got some false brand. But um, you know, first you have to agree with God, that sin is sin. Yeah. You don't get to make up your own rules. If God said it, sin and sin and we abide by that rule, and help everybody out. But okay, so God determines what sin number two, you have to feel godly sorrow over that sin. So if you're in sin, and you want to stay in that sin, it's not godly sorrow, you're not saved, you're in trouble, that path will lead you to hell. Third thing is you have to confess that sin one to another meaning somebody is going to help hold you accountable to help you. It's not some deep, dark, secret and forth, we put something in place that you don't do that again. And sometimes, you know, it takes a few number for here to build a boundary around it. So people are trying to get out of sin. But if you just you know, throwing caution to the wind and created your own new Christianity and your own new Jesus, those people will not enter the kingdom of God. And that's really what's kind of scary. So I wrote this book in hopes that when people read it, they they get a true glimpse of what hell is like, in the book is set up. It starts out with that first trip I took to heaven. Then it tells you about how and then it ends with what is my most powerful For trip ever to heaven. And my hope is that when people read that book that they would check their wife outlet, the Holy Spirit check their life out and end up in heaven. Yeah, absolutely. You know, it was wonderful that your show let me come in and share my heart with everybody. Everyone there was so, so nice and, and you, you are really a remarkable young man. And I think you really have a heart to help people. So when you asked if I would come on your show, it was like, Yes, because I know inside your heart, it really is you really want to serve the Lord by serving people.

John Matarazzo: 1:00:40

Yeah. And Laurie I, the whole premise of this program is, you know that the conversations that we have along the way with Jesus, that we don't realize that it's him, you know, just like the road and how the disciples are walking with Jesus, but they had no clue. There's so many times on our lives, that we're just clueless. We don't realize that it's Jesus until they sit down at the table, Jesus blesses the food and breaks the bread, and then poof, he's gone, they realize that this was Jesus the whole time. And Luke 2432, the disciples turn to each other and say, why aren't our hearts burning within us along the way, as he was revealing the scriptures to us. So the people that God brings into my life along the way, I believe that God has deposited something in you, and other people that God has brought along my way to help me understand more about him. And I don't think I'll have a complete understanding of God, you know, I before I get to his actual presence, and I want that, but I want to continue to search, I want to continue to understand and seek and the Bible says that we will find him whenever you seek Him with all of your heart. And that is what I'm trying to do through having these conversations. And so Laurie, I want to learn from your life, because you've had this experience where you have you grew up being nominal, Christian, then you got radically saved. And then you had this experience and how you've had experiences in heaven since then, as well. You're now leading ministry, and you're writing books, and you're sharing your experiences. What else has happened in your life that showed you that Jesus was walking with you, but you didn't realize it until you look back? And how can we be aware of that?

Laurie Ditto: 1:02:21

Yeah, that's, that's a great question. And when when I saw that question, I prayed because I was like, Lord, what's the answer? And what came to me was the realization of how far back it actually was. So when I was a child, I had some yucky things happen when I was a kid. But I remember as a child, I thought I was, I had something important to tell everyone and that I was going to, I needed to do it on a stage, it was always my present age. And so as a little girl, I joined choir, choir. But then, and in middle school, I kept thinking, I'm going to write a book and tell something that's so important, people will need to hear this. And so I tried studying, writing, and all of that stuff. And when I got to, nothing happened, you know, and so then I got this, this hope in me, never, it never went away. And then Middle School, that I joined the place, and I wanted to be in the place and thinking, you know, that put me on stage. And that didn't, it just didn't happen. And when I married my husband, one of the things I told him was, I'm gonna write, I'm gonna write a book it's going to be so it's gonna, it's going to be, you know, this sort of good and an important thing. And I shared, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to be on a stage. And of course, he wanted it to happen for me. He bought me a little portable typewriters. And I got the first one of the first word processors that would come out, trying to write whatever it was, that was so important that was going to help so many people. And I joined all tried selling all kinds of stuff done, you know, thinking, if I could get good enough, I'll get, I'll get on a stage on something important to tell, but I never knew what it was that I had to tell. And when I got saved, I understood that the important thing is all about Jesus. And I knew I'd been to heaven. So I thought, okay, that must be what it is. And this thought had always been in the back of my mind, these the words my father's reputation, and I didn't understand that I didn't realize it was about my father in heaven until I got saved. These words mean my father in heaven. And the truth is that his reputation was always good. It's always right. And it wasn't until I went to hell. That was in 2008. And as I healed from going to hell, the Lord has since put me on a stage to tell people something that's extremely important. And he had me write a book that I think is very, very important to tell people that God wants us with him. It's our sin that is separating us and will separate eternally us. him and when I look at what he was doing, he knew way back there. But the enemy had planned for my life. He knew that all the time of struggle that I had, that God had a plan even way back then who put this hope inside of me. That was a self esteem and a self worth that was beyond me, because it was going to be about him in his story, and how Satan meant and who and steal me away from God, he always knew. So. So knowing that God was there in some of the darkest times I had this plan makes me believe that the plan that He has for my life, even though I can't see it right now, even though I don't understand, I didn't realize when I was little, all that all those hopes, I'm I'm I have something important to tell somebody. And the most important thing that we can tell somebody is about the love of Christ. I just feel, I just realized how important my life in God is. And therefore I also realized how important everybody's life. And God is. He's such a personal God. And he's been encountering each of us. Now, there's been other things too, you know, where where you realize afterwards, wow, that was God. But in reading in reading it, I realized that something that was the most radical thing that happened in my life going to hell and being so afraid that, wow, I'd really screwed up forever. And I'm never going to get to go to heaven now. Because I want someone to realize that God had that planned out. He knew that long before he ever let me see those screens. He knew he had it planned for me that I would know him in this way of security. It's really a place of security that wow, God, I more in Austin's having looked at your question than I was before. So he gave me a gift card. So

John Matarazzo: 1:07:02

I'm glad I'm glad. Well, Laurie, another question that I love asking is if you could talk to yourself in the past, what advice would you give yourself and why I'm looking for you to kind of paint the picture of young Lori, and you from the future coming? And just giving yourself some advice? What's going on in that situation? And what would you tell yourself,

Laurie Ditto: 1:07:21

if I would listen to myself and back then I'm not sure I would have listened to anyone. But if I could convince myself, if I could go back and convince myself and I think I tried really, really hard to convince myself, of the people in my life who loved God, long before I did. You know, those people who were there, there were kids in high school, I remember they, they so loved God and, and I had cousins, who, who knew God, and there were neighbors that invited us to church and everything. And I wish I could convince myself go back and convince myself, listen to these people, because they have something so good. You need this, you really need that the love of God. And at every step of the way, I think especially john, when I'm so suicidal, I would have really wanted to tell myself right there, that you're so valuable, not because of anything that you're doing everything that the enemy was telling is true about me. But you're so valuable because of the love of Jesus Christ over you. And so if I could convince myself to slow down, you know, to quiet myself and, and to listen, because the Holy Spirit was reaching out, I'm sure way more than I knew at that time. And if I wouldn't listen, then I'd want to talk to myself, the day before I went to hell. And I'd want to talk to that girl and to let her know that God's love is never ending. And if you are willing to repent, to remind myself, if you're willing to repent, he'll help you He'll take you back. Because the fear of how, you know, sent me for a loop for a while. So I mean, I wish I could go back and many many times, john, and, and talk to me what I can do, because I, you know, I can't go back and do that. But what I can do is to try and be those neighbors that tried to reach out to me try to be those high school friends, try and be the, you know, the person who's willing to see someone who's depressed and and to help them through that. I can't go back there and talk to them, but I can talk to the ones around me today.

John Matarazzo: 1:09:39

Amen. Laurie, what's a verse in the Bible that has been like an anchor for you? That's like a life verse.

Laurie Ditto: 1:09:45

I would say, you know, I have a before how and after how so before how my first was Matthew seven, seven, ask and it will begin seek and you'll find knocking that door will be open and I believe that I'm a literal girl. So I'd be When I asked God for something he's going to give it so that was, you know, that was my life verse until I went to hell although I mean, now I think I got to because I am for burning in the after burning. But in Colossians 128 29 him we preach, we need, we need to know, who are we setting an example for when warning every man, God expects us to warn the people and to teach them. It says teach every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Jesus Christ. And To this end, I also labor, so striving according to his work, which works mightily in the end. And I feel that john, I feel that the working of God is working mightily in me, to help change me to bring me into that place of holiness, you know, asking God for these kinds of things. So the first verse kind of set me up, you know, asked me to be given and what I'm asking for, is the ability to preach about him to warn the people to teach the people and to bring them to Jesus Christ in this perfection, which is repentance. And I'm going to keep at this. I hope that in my life, I can stay this course, showing people who is Jesus Christ, even with my last breath, whatever that looks like, that people will know Jesus, because I want him to just ooze out of me. Amen. I love him. I know you love him. Isn't it wonderful? We're just died because we love you.

John Matarazzo: 1:11:39

Yeah. Laurie, as we're bringing this interview to a close. I'm gonna ask you if you would, if you would pray for me and actually pray for the listeners as well. I gotta just impart something into them.

Laurie Ditto: 1:11:50

Wow, thanks. Oh, Jesus. Lord, I love you. We love you want to thank you that you are who you say you are. You are the chief among 10,000. You rule and rain from a beautiful heavenly throne. Thank you. Thank you that you made a way there was no way. The separation was too big. We were lost. There was no way for us to ever come back into that place of reconciliation. And you did it. You made a way where there was no way and you saved me. You saved us. And you want to save. You still want to save Thank you, God, you saved me. When I was you're in and you want to save your enemies. Thank you that the blood that you shed will bring us to the knowledge that we need repentance help us. Help us God do the four steps of repentance. And then God help us live. live for You. Lord, I pray for the people who who listen to this who desire a trip to heaven, grant them a trip to heaven. And I pray God that the truth of hell they would not have to burn like I burned the vision of heaven in the truth of who you are would be enough to set them on their course. trust and obey God I ask for the ones that their only hope is in you rattling their cage. I think my only hope was you rattling my cage and showing me unless you repent, the reality will be you will be in hell eternally for unforgiveness. Don't let that happen to not one person who hears this created hell for Satan and the demons created heaven for us to be with you. So God I asked that I pray your blessing and john. Thank you God for His his love for you. His love for people and his desire for others to know you better Thank you God. I pray you bless this young man and bless his his podcast Lord blesses TV show. Just bless him God because He is truly a servant of yours. Lord, we love you. We love you. All only thing that matters in the end you the only thing that matters. Put that deep in our hearts. In Jesus name I pray, amen.

John Matarazzo: 1:14:41

Amen. Amen. Well, Laurie, how can people get a hold of your book, The hell conspiracy and find out more about your ministry. I'll be providing all those links in the show notes, but I'm just giving an opportunity to to talk about that a little bit.

Laurie Ditto: 1:14:54

Wow, thanks. You can find me I have a Facebook page more aidid Oh, you can find me there. You can email me at contact at my father's reputation calm I have I have a website to john, you know all this technical stuff. I have people who take care of that for me because I don't I have a website, too is my father's reputation.com I have a office with a phone number. Let me give you my phone number 816-299-2617. And I think that's all the ways you can get ahold of me, you can get my book. You can, you know, the online people sell it. And if you want, I think I think my office sells it. So

John Matarazzo: 1:15:43

I'll make I'll make sure that all that information Laurie, I put in the show notes so that people can just find that pretty easily. So if you're listening it a great podcasting app, you can just scroll down to the show notes and all that information will be right there.

Laurie Ditto: 1:15:57

Well, thank you.

John Matarazzo: 1:15:58

Laurie, thank you so much for allowing me to join you along your way. I hope that you enjoyed my conversation with Laurie. I know that I have been more aware of issues of unforgiveness in my own life since our conversation, and I try to deal with them as quickly as possible when the Holy Spirit shows me that I need to deal with it. Laurie has another book coming out soon. So keep an eye out for that. But if you want to know more about Laurie, her information is in the show notes. Thank you for listening to along the way. If you've enjoyed joining me along my way, please share this episode with a friend who you think will be encouraged by this podcast. Also, please rate and review along the way on iTunes. That helps more people discover along the way. And you can subscribe to this podcast wherever you're listening. Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and at my website along the way dot media. I hope that you've enjoyed this part of my journey. And may you realize when Jesus is walking with you along your way. Along the way is honored to be part of the charisma Podcast Network. You can find tons of spirit filled content from their vast catalogue of podcasts, including my Monday through Friday news stories for the charisma news podcast. Go to CPN shows.com to see the full list and latest episodes.