Finding Her Voice Standing on Her Head - Victoria Jackson’s Journey AlongTheWay 35

Victoria Jackson dreamed of playing an airhead on a sitcom but when Saturday Night Live called it changed her life. Hear how standing on her head helped her find her voice.

Her AlongTheWay moments include 

• Handstand Poetry
• Appearing on Johnny Carson 
• Becoming a Saturday Night Live Cast Member
• Breast Cancer Survivor
• It’s not failure if Jesus is with you!

Victoria Jackson’s Info

victoriajackson.com

Her daughter, Scarlet’s books can be found at

https://www.scarlethiltibidal.com/

And the book that she mentioned “Between Heaven and Hollywood” by David AR White

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310345944/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_AC.4Db6SGA5YB

AlongTheWay Links

Join My Email List

JohnAlongTheWay@gmail.com

More episodes and Social links for AlongTheWay

Watch episodes of My TV show RealLife

Transcript

Victoria Jackson : 0:01

It's not failure. Jesus is with you. It's a learning curve and God changes our direction. Like, it's like me. My dream was never to being Christian movies. I wanted to be an airhead on a sitcom and make a million dollars a week and have someone write my lines. And, you know, my life's a little different. I didn't plan on marrying a police man. But where I Wherever I am, I go, wow. Is I wasn't my well to live in Miami for 20 years raising my kids. So I thought it must be God's will. So it wasn't my well. And God knows better maybe that protected my kids from maybe they got their mom. Maybe if I went to lived in LA I would have been busy all the time trying to get acting work and they wouldn't have had a mama.

John Matarazzo : 0:47

Welcome to along the way. I'm john Maeda Raza, your host and fellow traveler. Thank you for joining me along my way is I try to become more like Jesus every day. I love talking with fascinating people and learning how God has met them along their way. You might have already recognized her by her voice. But that is Victoria Jackson, who's best known for her time on Saturday Night Live from 1986 to 1992. I had the opportunity to meet with her and hear some of her along the way journey in August when I was in Nashville. She shares how she was discovered how she almost missed her chance to be on Saturday Night Live at how her upside down humor gave her a voice in comedy. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'll get to the interview in just a moment. But I want to make sure that you know that you can hear all of my episodes, even the ones that you've missed by visiting my website along the way dot media, or simply subscribing to along the way and your favorite podcast app. You can also find along the way on Facebook and Instagram and I started and along the way email subscriber list. If you want to be notified of episodes and any other special announcements, please consider joining my email list. The link will be in my show notes to reach me electronically. You can always email me at john along the way@gmail.com. All those links will be in the show notes. I look forward to hearing from you. And now here's my Along the way conversation with Victoria Jackson. Victoria Jackson, thank you so much for spending some time with me and allowing me to learn from your along the way journey. Thank you for allowing me to come into your home and to talk with you. So,

Victoria Jackson : 2:15

thank you for having me. I love talking and I love talking about Jesus.

John Matarazzo : 2:20

Absolutely. I'm looking forward to hearing about your story. And would you mind just telling me a little bit about your journey? Or you are an actress? You've been on Saturday Night Live? You've done a lot of things. I was just looking at some of your bio. You've done a lot of movies.

Victoria Jackson : 2:35

Yes, because I'm very old, jam packed lot of stuff into those 60 years I just turned 60 Wow. It's kind of a milestone is kind of like a stop and pausing moment when you go did I use my life the way I should have kind of moment.

John Matarazzo : 2:53

Well, how has God brought you from where you started? You grew up in Florida. How was God brought you to where you are Today,

Victoria Jackson : 3:01

I know it's a big got brought me. Well, I I asked Jesus into my heart when I was six years old. We were in a Southern Baptist Church in Miami, which when I was growing up, it was turning into Cuba. So it didn't really feel like America. Everyone spoke Spanish and I took Spanish so I could communicate but our southern baptist church, well, it was a wonderful place. We were there three times a week. I know every Baptist town every verse by heart, and I love that and I memorized Bible verses and then I went to a Christian school and well, I had to make an A so I had to memorize Bible verses there. And that's like my greatest gift from my childhood because the Word of God it lives in side of my head and bounces around in there. And whenever I am facing any problems or sadness or fear, then you know Joshua one nine pops into my head or I can do all things through Christ to stay Me or you know, Joshua one nine, Be not afraid either be dismayed for the Lord thy God is with the weather so ever they'll go west. I memorized it in the King James. Yeah. And see our Christmas photo over there. Joshua one nine on Oliver. Yeah. Because, yeah, my daughter Scarlett is 33 she just wrote a book this year called I'm afraid of all the things, my Scarlet help to buy her a name.

Unknown Speaker : 4:27

I'll make sure that I put a link for that in the show notes.

Victoria Jackson : 4:28

Thank you. And I said, Scarlett, why did you write a book about fear? I taught you Joshua one nine. When you were tiny, tiny. She's like, I know mommy. She said I thought of it as a command. I didn't find comfort in and I thought I better not be scared. You know, it's, yeah, you know, the Christian life is like full of things like that, like trust the Lord. You know, so but I think mostly her fear started when she went through a divorce. Me and my her father. He was a fire

John Matarazzo : 5:01

eater. You're not just your No, no,

Victoria Jackson : 5:04

no, this is his career circus. He's still going, Oh, wow. And what happened was, I knew be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship have light with darkness. I went to Bible college when I was 16. What happened was I was supposed to marry my husband. I'm married to now, Paul, when I was 18. We were engaged. We were Baptist virgins. And we met at my Christian school. And his dad said, we were too young to get married. We were not allowed. I said, Well, this obey me mean, you're you're 18 you know, his dad said he wouldn't pay for his college if he got married. So I thought, Okay, well, I have this feeling to be an actress. Yeah, and I can only chase this with him. Now because you all marry me. I can afford to finish Furman University where we're calling because it's very expensive and he could afford it because his dad was a doctor. I go I think I'll try to be an actress in this window. Yes, I know I'm going to be married with kids someday. And always regret that I didn't try because I had that burning thing inside. Like, I thought I could be an airhead on a sitcom. Like Suzanne Somers, but clean like all the jokes and Three's Company were dirty and double entendres, and sexual and I thought it would be such a better show if she was an airhead when she was innocent. But I didn't have a TV growing up. My dad said that love American style was promoting fornication and adultery and The Love Boat was and he didn't want us to grow up with, you know, anti biblical, satanic messages and put it into our young little minds. And I love that he did that. So I want to chase my women back thing. So I went to Hollywood and while I was there trying to be an actress, which is really Really hard. Yeah. Especially when you're a Christian. Yeah. And I had on jobs and it was very exciting and scary and hard. And I'm reading David White's book right now, between heaven and Hollywood. And I have so many things in common with him. He was a Mennonite. And he was, you know, in Hollywood, very naive and thinking, This is what God wants me to do and what I did too, and I still think God wanted me to. I think God needs Christians and that mission field Absolutely. It's a very powerful place that to the movies like affect everything in people's minds. So I think my daughter had her fear started when she was four years old. I had to go through that divorce. Divorce is very horrible. And I don't believe in it, but it was, I had to do it. It was like I was trying to way her future. Staying in that situation at all the reason I married him being a strong Baptists, Virgin and all One was because my true love married someone else while I was gone, and I was like, oh, there's no such thing as true love and God picked him for me. That's all fairy tale. And I was there a long struggling and met a guy eating fire at my job at the righty Art Center where where I got discovered for the Johnny Carson Tonight Show cuz I was standing upside down doing poetry. My dad was a gymnastics coach. And my whole childhood was doing flips on the balance beam and stands on even bars and I thought how can I get noticed in Hollywood? The only thing I have the no one else has is I can stand upside down for 60 seconds. Uh huh. So I started doing stand up comedy, reciting my palms upside down to try to get an agent trying to get a job. And I was doing that when I met the fire eater.

John Matarazzo : 8:55

You got discovered, because you were standing on your head reciting your poem.

Victoria Jackson : 8:58

Yeah. And then married the fire. either because I saw him every day at work. And I said, God said be not unequally yoked together and I said, I know God, but I'm taking the church. And I would take him to church every week and he would teach me a little bit more of the worldly hippie lifestyle that he was living. And we got married, I was the breadwinner and you reap what you sow, even though God forgives you for disobeying you. If you disobeyed God, you reproduce yourself, he forgives you, he starts you on a new path. He goes come back to me and start obeying me. But anyway, so my daughter went through a divorce. That's where I think the fear seven because four years old, you're like, What? What is daddy? Why are we moving you know? And but then I married my high school sweetheart, who I wasn't allowed to when I was 18. We got reconnected. And I had then I had to decide I was at the top of my career on Saturday Night Live. And I had to decide Should I not marry my high school sweetheart? Who's a Christian and my daughter means a father? Or should I stay in my career, my house in LA, or give it up to marry him and his career was in Miami as a police helicopter pilot. Life is full of these very like your life like these odd twists and turns, like you're like in Africa. And then you're like a missionary. And then you're like, a TV producer is like, whoa, oh, yeah.

John Matarazzo : 10:26

It's definitely an adventure and sometimes it's very, very scary. Yeah,

Victoria Jackson : 10:30

yeah. But like being a Christian. It's exciting. Because you know, God's got your back. Romans 828. All things work together for good. called according to His purpose. And yeah, it's all good.

John Matarazzo : 10:43

So how did you go from your time in California to Saturday Night Live? Probably where most people would recognize immediately.

Victoria Jackson : 10:53

Okay, well, my voice bad say that's why they recognize me mostly. Well, how did I get from La to SNL. Well, I was struggling actress. I bought my first house in Laurel Canyon with my first big TV show which was half Nelson with Joe Pesci. And I was a secretary love interest and I got paid for 12 episodes, even though they only film six. Because of my contract. I go, I better buy a house because everyone says real estate is the way like, I didn't know anything. Like I've just got my visa card. Like the year before I didn't. I'm so young. I was 25. And so I was living long Canyon had a baby with the fire eater. We were married first. If anyone cares. And yeah, so I'm like looking for work. auditions are so hard. Oh, yeah. Oh my goodness. I'm in a room with 31 girls my age and like they're all prettier. They're all more experience. So I Doing a Mitsubishi truck commercial in the desert was three months pregnant, trying not to be nauseous or anyone and no, because I didn't want to lose the job and all of a sudden my phone rang my Kermit the Frog phone. You know those phones where you take the the old fashioned ones you take the handle off the frog's leg? I wish I still had it. And they go, would you like to audition for Saturday Night Live tomorrow? Yeah, like it wasn't my agent was

John Matarazzo : 12:33

and you think somebody was playing a joke on you

Victoria Jackson : 12:35

know, I didn't cuz it sounded legit. But they said there's a plane ticket waiting for you tomorrow at La x at 8am. Bring your characters and your impressions or something. And I go Oh, okay. Thank you. Now first of all, how they get my number who was it? I have no idea. I think it was Lorne Michaels office. And I think they'd seen me on Johnny Carson. Tonight Show because I was on it about three times a year, starting with 1983 was my first time and then why don't we back so I was on about three times a 345. And I just done my first real movie with Robert Downey Jr. Called a pickup artist. And I have like three scenes and I remember I was a Saturday Night Live. Well, yeah, what I didn't know that. He was only on a year, right? He was on an 85 and we did the pickup artists in the summer of 85. Now we did the pickup artist the summer of 86. My baby was just born and I got the audition for SNL. Summer baby six. Use me I'll accept my friend Gina now. Coconut milk is healthier than the cow milk they tell me so I thought I don't have any impressions or all the other characters because I never went to second city. I never heard of it. I never been in probably. I don't Just fumbled my way through stand up to try and get a career kind of fake that. But I did write my own material. That's true. So I thought, well, I have a handstand on the ukulele. So I took that to New York on the plane. And the fire eater stayed home babysat my baby for two days, which was really hard for me separation anxiety. I had dreams that she was drowning and I couldn't save her. Because like mom should be with her babies. I mean, that was hard for me to be a working mother but SNL yo and do 20 shows a year and so there's 30 weeks a year where you're not doing so. So I was with my kids a lot course after SNL I quit pretty much my career to raise my two daughters so bear with me a lot. And when I did stand up, I took them on the road with me a lot. Anyway, so flew to New York and identify audition in the phil donahue studio. And Lorne Michaels was the only person Then the audience and his assistant and a woman who was doing the video camera and his assistant horrible popcorn because he always followed him around the bowl, popcorn unsalted little Treme thing. And so I did it for him and they called me at the hotel that night and they said, Lauren wants to see you tomorrow. come anytime after three. We're changing your flight. Okay, so the next day I get there 301

John Matarazzo : 15:30

Okay. After three

Victoria Jackson : 15:32

Yeah, I don't know what it what does that mean? After three like midnight? Oh, I get the three one they're like, Oh, he's not here yet. I go. Okay. Should I wait like, Well, yeah, you go shopping or something? No one should be back. Oh, you know, whenever, like, one hour, two hour? Yeah, I'm just gonna sell her something. I go. What so hoes I like a department store. And like it so it was quite an adventure. I went walk Going around no money, money or anything. I didn't know how to get a taxi. And I come back and I sit down wait an hour. So then Lauren sees me and he very short interview and he said, so you're married? Yes, I'm married to fire eater. Oh, and I just had a baby. Your audition was very funny. But see, I'm doing an impression of Dana Carvey doing an impression of Lauren Michaels. Because I don't know. Okay, but I did learn how on the show, okay. When I got on the show, it was like comedy college and I eventually did Roseanne Barr saying that, and I did Georgia and my let me do the Brooklyn suami she talks like that I learned how to do New York accent just from hanging around the makeup department to applying that. And so Lauren said additional is very funny but also wanting to very strong and character Or impression, and he started walking out of his office. And I was like, Oh, no chance of slipping away. Like I never watched SNL, okay, when I grew up seven TV, but I had to pay rent mortgage. I mean, and I, I really needed a steady job. And so I go, What do you mean? He goes, Well, they want you to be like Diane Keaton, I got a man's clothes, and I looked down a lot and shuffle my feet. And he goes, and he goes, What if I want you to be a Midwestern housewife? I know why I'm a housewife. And my parents are from the Midwest. And he goes, and then I'm almost out the door and I go, I could talk like this. I could be this character dajuan by me, okay, thank you. So I'm flying home back to LA to my baby. And my future which has no work looked you know, a night Yeah, good. Be a typist again, but I wouldn't see my baby all day. So you know It's hard to try to navigate that all. That's why I love David AR White's book that I'm reading right now, between heaven and Hollywood. He had such a similar experiences me. And we were trusting God through it all and loving Jesus around going to church and then being tempted by worldly things because you're surrounded by it, but always, you know, praying and looking for what our purposes I really like, how he tells his journey. It's very similar to mine. But anyway, I got back home. And I realized I had a Johnny Carson appearance coming up in two weeks. And I thought, what if I continue my audition for Lorne Michaels on Johnny Carson? Well, that would be so Wow. So I thought I got all these videos of Tina Turner and Diane Keaton and I tried to imitate them and I realized I was terrible at it. And so I thought, well, I could just do it anyway. And it People laugh. That's the whole point. Exactly. Yeah. That's the goal. Yeah. So I told them tonight show and they said, Okay, don't mention the name of the show you're auditioning for. You asked Johnny to guess who you're doing. And so I went on there and I go, Johnny, I'm auditioning for a show and I have to do impressions. Can I try some out on YouTube? You can guess what I'm doing. Sure. So was, God do got to do that. And he's like, Tina Turner. I know. Yeah. And then I go, Johnny, I don't know why I'm here. Nothing's gonna come off as Terry Gar. I know. Yeah. Oh, watching, by the way, Glenn Miller play. And he goes in his bunker. So then I go.

Unknown Speaker : 19:49

So john, why do you want to work for my company?

Victoria Jackson : 19:54

And then he goes, I don't know. Betty Davis. I don't know. I don't know who is it, I go, Well, I made her up. And then he goes, Well, how am I supposed to guess who it isn't as a character, and then everybody laughed really hard. And then I thought, I know I got this job. And then I was wearing his pink dress that I got the mall and rearrange the sleeves and everything. So I did sell my manager at the time, you know, agents and managers. I still don't understand what they do. If they do anything. I know they take 10% anyway, I had this manager, and I said, Could you make sure that Lorne Michaels gets a VHS? That's what we have back then. In case he didn't see my parents last night, so she supposedly put it in Laurens mailbox at his hotel in LA or something, tracked him down. But two weeks later, I got a call on my Kermit the Frog phone. They said Congratulations, you're in the cast. There's a plane waiting for you. LX tomorrow. Okay, thank you. I hung up and I screamed, and then my baby woke up and then my fire eater vomited on the bed. Because he doesn't handle stress. Well, I don't either, but you gotta know what to add a new Yeah. And I like I bite my nails. You know, these are all fake my hair things. But anyway, so that's how I got on there. And then I kept my house in LA and I got an apartment in New York and a six years my daughter grew up on the show, and it was very exciting. I met lots of movie stars and stuff.

John Matarazzo : 21:37

Do you have a favorite moment from from that time?

Victoria Jackson : 21:40

My favorite moment is we were all struggling to get air time we had to write our own material and how many notes that like if you're an airhead on a sitcom, they give you lines. You get laughs on lines eating right? It's so easy. Here's a million dollars. I'd like an airhead. Here's their line. But in SNL, it was like hello lines. And so I'd sit in my office and I look at my IBM Selectric frozen in fear like so one day this writer Christine Zander, she walks by and she throws People Magazine on my desk and she goes, Hey, you should write this. And it had Jessica on the cover saying I am not a bimbo and big letters. And I went Wow, I can definitely do that. So I wrote the song like really fast. I've been writing poems my whole life and throw three chords on on legal aliens a song and the guy the desk Greg, he helped me I'm like what would it bimbo say? Then I got to then I sang it on Wednesday at read through. And Lauren did not put it in the show. went to his office when an hour to Sam. I know Lauren, everybody liked to what why isn't in the show. And he goes I don't like the blues, which is weird because he had a ukulele. Well, I had written it like this just because of the way I love this because or wonderware just because of how and how I fixed my hair. You think you can label me but don't you dare because I am not a bimbo. Okay, so he said I like the blues. And I'm thinking but the Blues Brothers Belushi right? That was his big bang. I never thought that was funny at all, but supposedly it's fine. Yeah. And so I said, Well, why can change the music? You know? I asked Cheryl. So I go to share all the genius who was practicing Beethoven all day in her little office with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth with the ash really long it never dropped off. It would just stay there and never drop. Beethoven. I know Cheryl, can you make the I am not a bimbo be like not the blues. Lauren doesn't like that. The rules is, and so she made it pop. And she made it just because of the way I look just because of what I wear just because of how I act and how I fix my hair. You think you can label me but don't you dare cuz I'm not a member. So I showed it to Lauren. And he goes, we'll try to address. So address I go up on the desk to sort of a striptease to make fun of Jessica Hahn, who I met years later. She's awesome. But yeah, I don't like the part of this now that really makes fun of people. And that was a lot of it, you know? And it's kind of a mixed thing because people are sort of honored that they're getting satirized but like, what is it? imitation is the highest form of flattery, but on the other hand is very mean spirited most of the time, you know, definitely can be Yeah, yeah, like Tammy Faye Bakker like in those days in the 80s. She was on TV crying with her mascara right? Donald, it's kind of funny. And they were larger than life, people. So it was kind of a situation begging to be made fun of, especially by show that's not a Christian show. But you know, it's still kind of mean, you know. So long story short, I'm on the update desk, a dress rehearsal, take my jacket off singing I'm not a bimbo and take my skirt off. But you know, it's very modest dress, because it's about comedy. And it was a big hit. So it got into real life shall live show and 11:30pm. And I remember when I was doing it, I was thinking, not only is a millions of people watching this, but Steve Martin and sting are watching this. They were the host and the music that I did. Stephens thing and the other funny part is my brothers. that week I called him I said, Jimmy is staying a good musician. Like this guy staying in music this week, my brother goes, Oh, Vicki, that show is being wasted on you. You are not a consumer and I go, What? And I go, well, like does he write his own songs? And Jamie's like, oh, Vicki, have you ever heard of the police? I'm like, no. So I said I was raised on showtune. Okay, you know, my dad would play the piano. I played 30s and 40s 10th and all those. So I was in the makeup chair next to stay. I remember and I said, staying. Do you write your own songs. Like, amused, and, and I go, I write my own songs. And, and I mean, like, I wasn't trying to be funny. It was just I was trying to just, it was awkwardness sit next to not say anything so, so that was very exciting. And then at the after party, which I don't think anyone really enjoys the after party, because you're tired out of your mind. It's one in the morning. You just had such a hard week trying to get your three minutes on TV. And I remember I walked into the room and, and I felt the respect of my peers. And I felt like I was walking 10 feet off the ground for a brief moment, because they didn't really use me that much on SNL. I don't know, just for a fleeting moment. I just felt the respect. And that meant a lot to me. And yeah, so my favorite moment. That's

John Matarazzo : 27:41

thank you for sharing that. That's that's a fun story

Victoria Jackson : 27:43

side so long.

John Matarazzo : 27:44

No, that's good. I like hearing the real stories. So, Victoria, when you look back, where do you see Jesus walking with you in that? Wow.

Victoria Jackson : 27:54

Well, I always say, I have been in many interviews where I've said I was in the hall at SNL. And I was like, wow, this must be my mission field. Because when I was eight, I was at my church, Carroll city Baptist Church in Carroll city, which turned into a ghetto. And I remember this sermon about Isaiah, and whom shall I send? And I went forward with my heart beating. I was eight, I think around there. And I went forward, and I prayed, and I said, God, I want I want to be a missionary for you. But please don't send me to Africa. Because like, I saw films look scary. And those lions and snakes and everybody look hungry and make it and you know, so when I was at SNL, I was like, wow, Lord, this is my mission. And then I thought, well, how am I supposed to witness to anybody? they're smarter than me. You're richer than me. They're funnier than me. And we don't really hang out because I haven't The only one with the baby side rush home with my child. You know, I didn't want to miss her first steps or anything. So I never really hung out. So I thought of this idea. I thought this Christmas, I thought, I'll get everyone the Bible on cassette, because we all had new cars. And we were making money for the first time and cassettes in your car was a new thing in the late 80s. And I thought, I can't really tell them the gospel and everything I know about the Bible, passing them in the hall, saying, Oh, your thing was funny last night. You know, how do you find a moment? Tell them john 316. So I thought, but if I give them the Bible on cassette, they could drive home for Christmas and they could put it in their car, just trying out their new cassette machine, and the Holy Spirit could teach them like a lot. And so I wrapped them up and put them at each other. dressing room doors. And one personally turned their live a note on set already have one. And I thought, Oh, that's the Holy Spirit. Does that work? Because if I would have given her a T shirt that she already had, she wouldn't have done that. Yeah, I was kind of scared to do it. But I thought, well, this is me. And this is my mission field. Yeah, I asked Kevin nealon like 15 years later, when you're doing stand up a nice account. Did I really give you the Bible on cassette on Christmas? Or is that like a dream I had? And he goes, No, you really did that. I go, I did. And then he's like, yep. And it's still my shelf. And I think I've listened to number three and number seven. And so I that's like one example of when Jesus was walking with me through I mean, divorce. I mean, life is hard and Jesus was walking with me through Hollywood and getting worse, not getting more disobeying him towards everything. And then he just walked with me through breast cancer four years ago, where I had to live the Bible verses and set them to save them or memorize them or write them or read them. I had to live it. So I was laying in my bed up there, and us too weak from five months of chemo to change the channel on the TV. I was like laying there and I thought, I feel like Jesus, you're standing right next to me. And that's all I need. Like, I don't have an Oscar. I can't drive. I'm too weak to change. But like, I'm okay. I'm okay. You're standing or hanging out. And my faith was like real and like God proved it to me. Yeah.

John Matarazzo : 31:48

Do you have any Bible verses during that time that you just held on to that were like a life verse?

Victoria Jackson : 31:53

Yes, some 43 five was I was in the lobby at Vanderbilt breast clinic and I was flipping through my and Graham lots devotional called daily light. Each day is like a group of Bible verses. It's not her interpretation of that. It's just Bible verses so much together from different parts where you never really see them so much together so they all can look now. I was flipping, and they had just said, my tests didn't look good, my MRI or something. And I thought, oh, Lord, this is not a fun moment. This is not a happy moment. And my personality always tries to make everything happy. I think this is not happy. Oh, and I thought, Philippines for 13. Luke 137, for Ghana is impossible, absent from the body present with the Lord for me to live as Christ to die is gain. As thinking along these verses, I said, Lord, I need a new verse. I know those verses to Well, I just need some new thing to pop out because and all of a sudden, I saw Song 43 five, and I never memorized that one and Something like why are the downcast Oh my soul? Why is my spirit discouraged within me hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my god and my Savior and I went, Wow, I will yet praise Him. And that carried me through the whole year because I thought, whether I die of cancer now, and then he heals me in heaven, or if he heals me now comes back, and I got or whether you get, I will yet praise him again. And whether it's on earth or in heaven, and I thought, Oh, I won't be happy again. And that's all I needed. And that really carried me through and I wrote a little song about it goes, why should I be discouraged? If God has a plan, he makes beauty from ashes, I will praise him again and again. I will praise him yet again and again. And so that's what carried me through him.

John Matarazzo : 33:53

That's great. That's a good verse to hold on to it. I'm glad that gun show that to you. Right then if you could go back in Time and visit yourself and have a cup of coffee with yourself at a younger age. What advice would you give yourself? Think you would listen? I think

Victoria Jackson : 34:09

I would say be more patient and wait on God. Because I think all my biggest mistakes or I wasn't waiting for God, I thought I have to marry the fire eater, because I'm not getting any younger. And I'm lonely. And God has some brand new Christian husband. I don't see any Hello. It's been 1980 1981 1982 I don't want to be an all made I love romance. I'm would love to kiss and hug somebody. And I didn't. I didn't want to wait. I just I think we're in a hurry because we have time ticking by and God doesn't and he's not in a hurry.

John Matarazzo : 34:54

And he's always on time.

Victoria Jackson : 34:56

Well, yeah, he's this time. Yeah, he does. Time. Yeah. So I think I rushed into things like marriage because I didn't trust that God would bring me the right person at the right time. I thought he's not doing it I gotta do this. So I think I would tell myself be more patient and wait on the end that wait on the Lord will renew their strength with wings as Eagles they shall run not be worried they shall walk me teach me to wait. But I don't think I want to listen. Especially when I have a caffeine right and for me,

John Matarazzo : 35:34

yeah. What is God teaching you right now? I know you're doing a lot of Christian movies now. And I love the marriage retreat one that I saw. I

Unknown Speaker : 35:43

saw that a couple years ago not

Victoria Jackson : 35:44

doing a lot of them I wish I was doing but I am doing

John Matarazzo : 35:49

that. That's the most recent thing that I've seen you in

Victoria Jackson : 35:53

a very small part and I didn't really have any comedy to do. I think comedies my strong point The movie I just did I had for crying scenes.

John Matarazzo : 36:03

Crazy.

Victoria Jackson : 36:04

Yeah, I had a cry. They didn't tell me too. I just thought my character would cry right here. She's seeing her daughter for the first time in 25 years since her daughter ran away, and I know she would cry right now. I said, Lord, I want Christian movies to be better. I want him to be good. So help me do this. And God only cry. I don't know if they'll edit it because then the whole movie will be sobbing because her characters crying. Nobody wants to watch a movie where everybody's showing what a great actress they are. Music can cry, but I did four times. And I was shocked because I don't do that very well. I just turned 16 and I've been assessing my life. And I'm thankful. Like I just bought that a sign that says thankful. I'm super, super grateful. My highest goal would have been for my children to love Jesus and They do. And I feel like my mission was accomplished. I'm grateful and humbled. And, you know, my daughter's books she's writing now, she wrote another one called a number of the pores on my face for teenage girls that just came out this month. And she's writing books about Jesus, and all the things we've been through with fame and divorce. And you know how real life stuff is like, I feel like we're sinners. And we're all passing the golden gospel for one sinner to the next. Because I had like five pastors committed adultery. Like almost every church, I've been in my whole life. I went to my Bible College, the president, he ran off with a girl, the year I was there. Then I went to a church for 10 years, that guy called adultery. I went to another church for 10 years, that guy kind of so like I but it doesn't make me mad at God. I just think we're all sinners, passing this beautiful word of God from one center to the next and Like, God said, Be holy, for I am Holly. And we're like, we're not doing good. And God. Well, it's like gymnastics, if you try for a 10, you might do a seven. But if you don't try it all, you'll just be like a 3.0 on your balance beam routine. But if you aim to get a 10 point out, it'll make you better. So I think aiming to be holy, is better than not trying. Absolutely. And

John Matarazzo : 38:25

you talked about your daughter and the books that she's writing. She wrote one already, she's got another one. I'll make sure that I provide links for that in the show notes.

Victoria Jackson : 38:33

Yeah. And my other daughter, she's 25. So she's trying to figure out what her passion is, but she's interested in worship, leading worship music at church. She plays the piano and she is starting Bible study in her house.

John Matarazzo : 38:47

That's so encouraging. I'm sure as a mother, you're very, very proud of them.

Victoria Jackson : 38:51

I'm so happy that they could have seen my sins or whatever and gone another direction. So God protected them.

John Matarazzo : 39:01

And you mentioned david era White's book a few times, what is standing out to you the most, because I'm going to write that as a recommendation for

Victoria Jackson : 39:09

Wow. Well, I've had it like a year. And I didn't get around to it because I just enrolled at Lipscomb film school to get my master's degree. And I'm just learning what you already know how to do editing, and all that hard stuff with machines. And I'm a I'm an art of you and people like you can do that. It's very time

John Matarazzo : 39:33

consuming, always learning with it, too. It's always changing.

Victoria Jackson : 39:36

technology keeps changing. Okay, standing out in this book, well. I liked reading how pure Flix was formed because I kind of had the fantasy that some rich guy handed him some money and said, Here's start a Christian company and you can start all your movies, but it didn't happen like that. I don't think and he talks about all the failures. And I think people love to read about successful people going through failure because it's not failure. Jesus is with you. It's a learning curve. And it's like a, and God changes our direction. like David talks about how this was his goal. And then, and then his life ended up being this is like, Oh, that's what God wanted me to. It's like me, my dream was never to be in Christian movies. I wanted to be an airhead on a sitcom and make a million dollars a week and have someone write my lines. And, you know, my life's a little different. I didn't plan on marrying a police man. I don't know where I wherever I am. I go. I wasn't my well to live in Miami for 20 years raising my kids. So I thought it must be God's will. So it wasn't my well. And God knows better maybe that protected my kids from maybe they got their mom. Maybe if I went to lived in LA I would have been busy all the time. Train and get acting work in one of Panama all day, I don't know. But David's book, I like that he mentioned his failures and his struggles because it's encouraging to know everything wasn't handed to him on a golden platter.

John Matarazzo : 41:15

Well, I love whatever people are willing to share that about themselves and how the righteous man falls seven times, but he gets back up. And so you know, I want to learn from the people that have said, Okay, yeah, I've fallen. I've had a failure. But I'm getting back up. Yeah, I'm getting back up. And that's kind of the whole premise of this podcast to is where can we learn from those moments where we might have missed God in the moment. But we're moving forward and we're going to we're going to overcome that. I love that God has given people creativity, to tell his story in unique ways. And not just his story, but the story that he allows us to live and how he is working with us. Victoria, thank you so much for allowing me to join you along your way as we're doing this. That was Sort of along the

Unknown Speaker : 42:00

way. Thank you.

John Matarazzo : 42:05

hearing how Victoria has memorized so many Bible verses was very impressive.

Victoria Jackson : 42:10

That's like my greatest gift from my childhood because the Word of God it lives in side of my head and bounces around in there. It challenged

John Matarazzo : 42:17

me to revisit a lot of the verses that I have memorized years ago. Are they still in there? And can I recall them so that I can rely on their truth to encourage me whenever I need it. King David said that I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Some translations say stored up for treasured is the word of God hidden so well that I can't find it when I need it. That is something that I need to work on more memorizing and treasuring God's word in my heart, so that I can use it when I need it. Victoria grew up in a Christian home without a TV, but that didn't stop her from being called to be an entertainer. She didn't let her circumstances stop her from that goal. It's always It's interesting to hear someone's story of how even through unfortunate situations God can turn things around and use it for his good. She was impatient in life and tried to do things on her own.

Victoria Jackson : 43:10

But it's not failure. Jesus is with

John Matarazzo : 43:13

you, and He will help you through. He said, for us to be holy,

Victoria Jackson : 43:17

God said, Be holy, for I am Holly. And we're like, we're not doing good god. Well, it's like gymnastics. If you try for a 10, you might do a seven. But if you don't try it all, you'll just be like a 3.0. But if you aim to get a 10 point out, it'll make you better. So I think aiming to be wholly has better than not trying.

John Matarazzo : 43:39

Let's aim for that. 10.0 I can honestly say that I have never had a dream of being an airhead on a sitcom. But how Victoria described it, it doesn't sound too bad. I'm just kidding. I know that's not my calling. But I've often said that I would stand on my head and spit Nichols if it would help people come to Jesus, but she kind of used that same approach to get into comedy, being told by the fame to Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels that she was good, but not good enough to be a cast member didn't stop her. She took her next opportunity on the Johnny Carson Tonight Show and try it again. Sometimes we need to be tenacious as we try to achieve our goals. She didn't take no for an answer. She got creative and took another approach that led to her becoming cast member for six years on Saturday Night Live. I appreciate her willingness to be a witness to her fellow cast members, even though she was intimidated by them and nervous about doing it. giving everyone the Bible on cassette was a good way to get the word of God to people who might not have received it any other way. The Bible says that faith comes by hearing the Word of God. How can we creatively help people hear the Word of God? That's always a good challenge for me to the Word of God is very important for Victoria, especially when she needed an extra boost of faith. And God led her to Psalm 43 verse five, she's still on that first when she was going through breast cancer and it helped her trust in God through one of the most difficult times of her life, when life doesn't seem to go your way, and maybe it's flipped you on your head, make the best of that situation. Maybe turn the blues on its head and proudly proclaim, not a bimbo, you are loved by Jesus. And that's the truth. For more information about Victoria Jackson, check out Victoria Jackson calm. Her daughter, Scarlet Hilton vitals books can be found at Scarlet heltah Bible calm, and she mentioned the book between heaven and Hollywood by David AR white. I'll be providing links for that book and more about David AR white in the show notes. Oh, and as I was wrapping things up with Victoria, she wanted to make sure that she shared about a movie that she just saw with a unique spin on the amaze road story. It's called Christ Slayer. She strongly suggest that you check it out. Thank you for listening to along the way. If you've enjoyed joining me along my way, please share this episode with a friend who you think will be encouraged By this podcast also please rate and review along the way on iTunes. That will help more people discover along the way and subscribe to along the way wherever you get your podcast. You can also follow me on Facebook, Instagram and on my website along the way media. I hope that you've enjoyed this part of my journey in May you realize when Jesus is walking with you along your way